Keep safe online & on your phone

What is tech abuse? || Get help || Protect yourself

What is tech abuse?

Abusers use technology to spy

Looking at what you’ve been doing on your device (phone, laptop, tablet or computer)
Changing privacy settings on your accounts
Using spyware that shows everything you do on the device
Web cams: like security cameras and baby monitors, or hidden cameras in your home

Abusers track

GPS: in anything that can move around easily, like phones, toys, vehicles, pets
Geo-location: photos from digital cameras can have hidden information about where and when they were taken
Phone or internet family plans: allow the account owner to learn what the other people in the plan do with their device

Abusers harass

Sending you texts or emails that are threatening, mean, upsetting or just annoying
Posting about you, your children or people close to you on social media (like TikTok, Facebook, Instagram)
Posting pictures of you online
Sharing untrue pictures or videos of you (“deep fakes”)
Tampering with your online accounts (bank, work email, social media)
Pretending he is you in email or social media
Pretending he is someone else
Getting other people to attack you – online or in person

Abusers involve the children in tech abuse

Giving children phones, games and other devices that let him track them -- and you
Setting up family accounts with service providers (Bell, Rogers) to monitor your family’s activities
Tricking a child into installing spyware on a family device
Hiding AirTags and other tracking devices in their bags and toys
Watching their social media to learn about you
Posting about the children and your family law case on social media
Using video conferencing (FaceTime, Zoom) visits with the children to learn about your new home

Tech abuse is wrong!

If you’re being subject to tech abuse you may feel frightened and angry, confused and overwhelmed.

In the legal system:

Family court judges look at tech abuse when they make decisions about parenting arrangements and restraining orders.
Some forms of tech abuse are against the law.

Getting help

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Find a safe way to contact your local shelter or a Family Court Support Worker for:

Tech safety planning
Other safety planning assistance
Emotional support
Information about lawyers

TechSafety.ca offers lots of information. Using a safe device, see their:

The Luke’s Place Tech Safety Toolkit provides family law information about tech abuse.

Other people who might be helpful:

Trustworthy family, friends or community members who are comfortable with technology
Staff at the store where you bought your phone or computer
Your mechanic if you think your vehicle is tracked
Local police
A lawyer

Protect yourself

If visiting this website will upset the abuser, remove it from your browser history.

Try not to delete all your browser history, which may alert the abuser

If you are subjected to tech abuse, make a safety plan before making changes to your devices or accounts.

The abuser may do something worse if you suddenly change how you use technology.

Only make small changes until you get safe
Make a safety plan: staff at a shelter can help

Use a safer device to get information and support.

A friend’s phone
A work or school device
A computer at a library, shelter or community centre

Create a separate email account for your support people.

Use this email only from safer devices

Get more tips for online safety.

Do you have to communicate with an abuser?

If you must be in contact with an abusive ex-partner, see these tips for managing electronic communication.

The abuser will use what you say and do online against you.

Be careful what you say in text, email, parenting apps, etc.
Think before posting or pressing send, "How can the abuser use this against me?"
He will try to get you to say things you might regret

Take a deep breath.

Here are some communication do’s and don’ts

Tech abuse and the law

You may be able to use evidence about his tech abuse to get legal protection for you and your children.

If you have a family law case, check out the Luke's Place Tech Safety Toolkit for:

Tips on collecting and presenting evidence
Tools for collecting evidence:
- A log for a single incident (PDF)
- A log for repeating incidents (PDF)
Wording for family court orders
Summaries of family law cases that include tech abuse