Just how much financial information does a woman have to share when she leaves an abusive partner?

Financial abuse

Many abusive relationships involve an element of financial control or abuse. For example, the abuser may:

• Monitor the woman’s spending
• Control all the money and give her an allowance
• Require her to justify her spending
• Insist that only his name be on bank accounts, investments, credit cards, etc.
• Not allow the woman to have a debit card
• Make all the financial decisions for the family
• Own all the property

Full financial disclosure

Upon separation, the two people – whether they are working towards a separation agreement with lawyers, working with a mediator or going to court – are required to provide full financial disclosure to one another. This information is needed to work out child/spousal support and division of property. It is very important for the woman to provide complete and truthful disclosure as requested by her lawyer, the mediator or the court. However, this does not mean she has to let her abusive partner know private information such as her account passwords, etc.

Typically, the following information will have to be shared by both people:

• income via income tax returns and notices of assessment
• income tax returns and notices of assessment for any businesses either of them owns
• bank and investment statements
• credit card, loan and mortgage statements
• pension valuations
• property valuations
• red book valuations of cars
• extraordinary expenses related to children

Failure to provide this information will prejudice the court against whichever party has not provided complete disclosure, will slow the progress of the case, increase the costs. In extreme cases, the court can strike the non-disclosing partner’s pleadings struck from the record or make a contempt order against them.

Not surprisingly, may abusers withhold financial information in order to try to evade their support and property responsibilities and to drag the case out and increase their former partner’s costs.

Some might even try to convince their former partner that she does not need to provide full disclosure, then use this against her.

It is really important that women provide all of the information requested by their lawyer, mediator or the court in a timely manner, even if their partner is stalling, providing incomplete or inaccurate information or telling her she does not have to provide it.

Self-protection

Even though she needs to provide this information, she can and should take steps to protect her documents and prevent her partner from accessing her accounts:

• If she does not have her own bank account, debit card or credit card, set these up as soon as it is safe to do so. This will give her greater independence and privacy.
• Change her access codes/passwords to her credit and debit cards, bank accounts, online banking services, etc. as soon as she leaves the relationship. This will make it harder for her partner to get access to her private information. She should take care to pick passwords that the abuser will not be able to guess and should keep them secret from everyone. If she writes them down somewhere, that document should be kept in a secure location, to which her former partner and children do not have access (for example, somewhere private at work, in a safety deposit box as long as her former partner is not also an owner, in a locked filing cabinet at home to which no one else has the key/passcode, with a trusted friend or family member).
• Keep an electronic file of all important financial documents on its own hard drive that can be kept in a safe location. This will ensure protection of that information even if the abuser takes, hides or destroys original documents.
• Check bank balances on all accounts – even those just in her name – on a regular basis. This will let her know if any inappropriate activity is taking place
• Over time, move bank accounts to a new financial institution for even greater privacy.
• Be careful not to leave deposit/withdrawal slips, pay stubs or any other financial information lying around where children or her former partner might see them.